Recluse

by Tanzler

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02:23
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credits

released November 21, 2015

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Tanzler Huntington Beach, California

SPAZZTIC THRASH CORE HAILING FROM HUNTINGTON BEACH ORANGExCOUNTY. NOTHING BUT A NIGHTMARE RECORDS. OCxHC.

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Track Name: 21st Century Ego
Sit and stare at your screen
Judging others from the comfort of your own home
Missing life moments while critiquing humans
Through a fine tooth comb

Self worth is something we just tell ourselves
Status will get you no where
Self worth is something we just tell ourselves
Status will get you no where

21st Century Ego
Force fed from the Social Media troff
Your feed, only what your eyes can see
Grown from the roots of the poison trees
Can't exactly tell whats in store
I feel like its happened, happened all before
Following pre-written paths of others
Forgotten standards of fallen elders

Sitting in the comfort of the bathroom stall
Judging others from a handheld screen
The meaner you are, the more likely you'll be heard
Cyber suicide is its own reward

Self worth is something we just tell ourselves
Status will get you no where
Self worth is something we just tell ourselves
Status will get you no where

The Enemy of my Enemy is my Enemy
Track Name: Optimism
Never do right I'm always wrong
My motivation/concentration is dead and gone
Now my fears come into full fruition
Forever impending mental condition
I'm working really hard just to stay in one place
I hear the grass is greener over there, with noting to waste
Keep your eyes focused on the peak of the hill
Keep your eyes focused on the peak of the hill
Track Name: Recluse
Agoraphobia
Black out the things that remind you of you
Fear if the outside world
And all the ways it can dissolute
Fear of what others might think
Outside world perception
Nobody is looking
Nobody cares
Second guess
Dress to depress

Recluse

Expectation
Everyday horrific suspense
Anger is second language
Unleashed on those who are closest to you
Contact with people makes you scared
Anticipation
of going somewhere
Intimacy is out the door
Nothing but arguments anymore
Shut in
Shut in
Shut in
I will shut you out

I'm Having anxiety
About having anxiety
What's the worst that can happen?
Silence is recommended
Silence is now extended
The monsters don't live under your bed
They are trapped inside your head
My Heart is beating Faster
Never ever more
My heart is beating faster
Rapping at my chamber door
Anticipation
Hypothetical Expectation
Shut In
Shut in
Shut you Out

Living in fear
Of tomorrow
Life in Recluse
Leads to Sorrow
Track Name: Process of Discrimination
Twelve Eleven twenty 0'Nine
Minding my business I was feeling the fine
I'm the self centered drunk I'm going nowhere
Shut away from all but stares
That one night, after D.I.
Ignorant Nazi's now looking for a fight
To drift away into the dark abyss
Wired shut time to reminisce

Refuse
All the help
Refuse
All the help

Tare IV's out no delay
Grab my dignity I'm on my way
Try to survive with a broken face
Sense of loathing I could never replace
Sucking through a straw for the next six weeks
Dwell about the past the frivolous critiques
Pout and suffering talking through my teeth
Pull and tug what lies underneath

I cant escape this feeling anymore
Feeling my face hit the concrete floor
Memories of the past lost in last night
Memories of the past lost in hind sight
Refuse
Wired shut
Lefty luck
Tensions running thin
Bite my cheeks
Grind my teeth
To stop before I
Begin
Track Name: The Curious Case of the Stracks
Judging the world through their peep holes
Their side of the story now unfolds
Their friends thought that they would just move off the grid
Cemented actions one could never forgive
A vision is only just a dream
Thread of insanity ripped right out the seam
Maybe they knew something that we did not
In their beds they slowly rot
Drink the Juice
Toss it back
The Curious case
Of the Stracks
Receive commandments from the holy ghost
Double entendre no need to boast
Forsaken to leave this evil place
Tucked away without a trace
Take advice from Dan Laferty
Proverbs to Ecclesiastes
When murder suicide doesn't seem odd
Outlined in Red the word of God
The Word of God Forced right down your throat
Track Name: Convenience
Abolish things I don't understand
Human nature at it's best
High fructose corn syrup in popular demand
Human nature to grow large Grotesque
Stuck in your fast food life
Much rather super size then break a $5
You're Stuffing your face for the cheapest price
Spend your money on the roll of the dice

Convenience
Convenience
Convenience
Killed the Human Race

The Government feeds you corruption lies
Spreading disease that is FDA approved
Sterilize the poverty line
Eliminate the cries for a better revenue
Morbid Obesity the American way
Morbid Obesity the American way
Destroy paradise pave a parking lot
Destroy paradise pave a parking lot
Track Name: Malevolent Frequencies
Blame habitual thoughts
Cross lines deemed never to cross
Swim with that weight on your back
Self esteem bacterial plaque
Has anchored my negative mind
Cross those invisible lines
Isolation
Is cold Confined
Tortured by the past
Tortured by my peers
Tormented by the future
Condemned by those lies

Pre-determined just to lose
I'm blessed by this simple life i choose
You can't right the wrong
You can't wrong that right
Demoralization
The final Route
I'm blessed by this simple life I choose

Extreme cases of hot and cold
My mind is a constant war within
Rapid decline, rapid decline
Some how a spiral never felt so good
I can see what I have to do
I can see what I want to do
So close yet so out of reach
Not physically just figure of speech
They call it selfish in the first degree
Why more suffer for the suffering
They call it selfish in the first degree
Why more suffer for the suffering

So focused on your day dreams
Of what could have been
Staring at a delusional reflection
With a cold stale grin
Lying through the floor boards
That represent your teeth
Face down in denial
Your endless feast

Blame habitual thoughts
Cross lines deemed never to cross
Swim with that weight on your back
Self esteem bacterial plaque
Has anchored my negative mind
Crossed those invisible lines
Isolation
Is cold Confined
Tortured by the past
Tortured by my peers
Tormented by the future
Condemned by those lies

Why more suffer for the suffering
They call it selfish in the first degree
Why more suffer for the suffering
They call it selfish in the first degree
Not physically just figure of speech
So close yet so out of reach
I can see what I want to do
I can see what I have to do
Some how a spiral never felt so good
Rapid decline, rapid decline
My mind is a constant war within
Extreme cases of hot and cold
Track Name: Seroquil
I see him maybe once a day
Keeps his distance not far away
Peripheral glance over my shoulder
Slowly see him move a little closer
The dog that I and only I see
Because that illusion dwells in me
My schizophrenia
Schizophrenia

His face was skinned now hangs in flaps
Human hands for paws hard ground slaps
Can't ignore that cold blank stare
Impossible to blink no eyelids no where
My Doctor just diagnosed
My mental comatose
My schizophrenia
Schizophrenia

Now he walks by my side
My Doc prescribes me pesticides
At night I hear him walk around
From the hard slaps on the ground
Cold blank stare he cannot blink
No skin attached his fur extinct
At times I fear that he might talk
Unravel my mind combination lock

Inside my head
Inside my mind
Locked up
Tension Builds
Forever Confined
Inside my head
Inside my mind
Locked up
Tension Builds
Forever Confined

Seroquil In my brain
Illusions I can't explain
The apparition that represents
Sorrow and Pain
Seroquil In my brain
Illusions I can't explain
The apparition that represents
Sorrow and Pain
Track Name: Never Quite the Same
There you go again
With your junkie friends
Disappear but your not gone
Close yourself like nothings wrong
I liked you the way you were
Blacked out morning such a blur
Dead eyed brain fried
You overdosed last night and dies
Yes history repeats itself
Far to stubborn refuse the help
So you lost your job again?
Everything remains the same

Shooting dope everyday since the age of 14
consequences can never be made
People were what they seemed
You died last night with fear in your eyes

Seems like things never change
Structure fire in the rain
You taste from the forbidden trees
Self destruction in the first degree
Try to offer a helping hand
Spit, attack, don't understand
You took the shot you took the blame
You never were quite the same
Track Name: Eclectic Cliché
Bruised time frame
Blacked out faces
A simple puppet
Without any laces
Broken bones and bruised up egos
All in all the unwanted hero
Forget the stories
Don't believe the tales
I'm a human being
Determined to Fail
Well I'm never gonna win

Nothing in this world that isn't hidden
Peak behind the curtain that was said forbidden
All I want is for others to see I exist
Reality check, social standards persist

Third party perspective
To look right through you
You have to lose everything
Just to see the value
Well once I was
But now I never will
Third party perspective
With no refill

Well I know I am
No I'm not
I know I am
No I'm Not

Nothing in this world that isn't hidden
Peak behind the curtain that was said forbidden
All I want is for others to see I exist
Reality check, social standards persist
Track Name: Typical Run of the Mill Anti War Song
With a bomb strapped to his chest
72 virgins to impress
Fight to die just for their cause
Detonator wrapped in sweaty claws
Enlist to serve for President what's his name
The faceless puppet to point the blame
Recount the vote, 4 more years
Pages align apocalyptic fears
Blame the Government
Blame money makers
Turn a blind eye
To human nature

PTSD

Opposing sides to proud to submit
Act of delinquency never to admit
Was it worth that college degree?
What is the real price of being "Free?'
Violent flash backs spurts of rage
Schizo homeless mental case
Knowing the smell of burning flesh
Suffering from post traumatic stress

PTSD

You can bark your protest
Your "Freedom of Speech"
To deaf ears, no one reached
Dignified/gratified you drink your Champagne
Human Nature wins again

Full speed with blinders on
Sacrifice the knights before the pawns
Now your the forgotten homeless Vet.
Filled with nightmares and regret
All my friends are dead and gone
All my friends are dead and gone
I hope you like what you see
I hope you like what you see
Track Name: The Girl Called She
Cold shivers up my spine
Familiar feelings stars aligned
Faceless figure dark entity
Deactivated unknown Identity

Though the windows you watch
Memories run down that familiar drain
Though the windows you watch
Memories run down that familiar drain

Never did research her own death
I can still feel that cold breath
Whisper through my ear and down my neck
Fearful warnings of her fateful steps

Though the windows you watch
Memories run down that familiar drain
Though the windows you watch
Memories run down that familiar drain
Been staring for so long
This Girl that I call She
She now watches me sleep
Through the windows
you watch me live my life
Track Name: Fairhaven 97'
Same SUV's White picket fence
Racing through life with no common sense
Working really hard just to buy a house
My kids brain washed by Mickey Mouse
Pretentious white kids just make me sick
Must prove your better than the penniless Spic
Well I'm Mr. Average I live next door
Blame it on my wife the neighborhood whore

Fuck Suburbia

To break a nail is social Genocide
To the Jones' not recognized
I hate my life I'm such a mess
You don;t want my Fucking stress
A day in my shoes might make you want to die
Wont even really question Why
You always claim your in perfect health
Then you Shoot Your Family and then yourself

The Decision to decide is a decision within itself
Uncanny thoughts second guess your mental health
Just wait till it hits your brain
It's like ripping off an old band-aid
You have to sit and savor that pain

Well haven't you had enough?
Self indulgence black out lust
Haven't you had Enough?
The reflection you can no longer trust